SRY

So sorry i haven't written lately.  Just been figuring things out and keeping time to myself i guess you could say.  which is really weird b/c I'm usually out doing things.  But for me multi-tasking is a good way to get stuff done so I give me time to myself while i'm with friends???   I am coming to accept the fact that I am not bi but gay.  It seems like everyone accepts being bi first then accepts being gay so i am doing that.  Actually i think i knew this all along but denial is a very big problem with accepting who you are.

To help me discover if I am gay or bi a friend asked me "who do i see myself marrying?"  And my answer:

I want someone who can do simple things.  Like if i wake up late they could have done some things around the house.  Or sometimes breakfast in bed.  And all the little things that you don't get when you live alone with your dog.  When i picture these things I picture a woman doing them for me.  And I will do little things for her.

Talking about being gay is going to get old, if it hasn't already.  But me talking about it so much helps me get comfortable with the fact that that is what i am...  Now it's very hard b/c my best friend, is very immature and doesn't like to talk about anything having to do with sex or anything else.  Yeah she listens to my adventures but she doesn't ask questions or joke around or give advice.  So talking to her about being gay is very hard.  She is going to have to mature alot b4 she gets a boyfriend.  YES she is straight and like i told her when i first came out to her, we get along very well but you are to dependent and immature for me even if you were gay.   I want someone who takes care of me when i'm sick.  Whose going to chase me if i run away.

kind of a messy post but this is where i am at right now...


Here's to the rest of my life!!!

hi

still not much up here...  I've been taking some time to myself i guess you could say...  Need to figure some things out or more like accept some things.  B didn't come, and G was supposed to get home today but i haven't talked to him since the last post...  School starts on the 7th so hopefully i will b ready to go back to being a responsible adult and not just do whatever i want.  I'd tell you what i'm accepting but i don't really feel like talking about just yet.  read previous' posts and u might b able to figure it out....

Heres to my life!!

hello whoever is out there in cyber world

haven't been up to too much lately...  Trying to find a job for the summer.  G is in DW this week, he comes home on sunday and he's bringing me present :)...  I told him what i wanted though so we will see how good he does.  J is just a friend now...  i guess you could say.  B is coming to stay with me for a few weeks so that should b fun.  I'm wondering about a job as a boarder.  you know where people pay you to rent a room in ur house for a week.

Well like i said not much drama here lately... or i think there is but i'm avoiding that subject right now...

Here's to my life

hello

sorry haven't been on for awhile..  Really I haven't had much to say.  I'm trying to keep my mind busy.

One thing did come up last night though talking to a friend.  I have been told not to try and change religous' peoples mind but i have to ask.  How do you get people to understand that people are born gay just like people are born straight.

Down

I'm tired of doing life alone...  When will it be my turn to have some help???  I'm not sure what i want or what i want to do or anything.  I really wish i could figure this all out, but idk what i want at all.

hi

I am so tired...  it's not funny at all.  well, the summer is going alright.  haven't found a job yet, but i did celebrate the beginning of summer drinking and talked to J all night long.  Last night we were talking again and started talking about him fucking me.  well,  IDK how i feel about him doing that.  I do trust him so there's a strong point.  But the problem came when we started talking about how big/small his dick is.  I was a little giggly before he started talking about his size but when he did that i got turned off rather quickly, and again my fear of being a lez came up.  So I'll just wait till he gets here and fuck him and c what happens.

Here's to the rest of my life!!!

summer

Well, it is officially my summer break.  Hopefully i can find a job soon so i can make some extra cash.  Anyway,  I think it's over with G. And B got a boyfriend, E went away, and C idk what's up with her.  So hopefully i can find a job to give me something to do.  it's was and emotional semester and i'm glad for a break.  I got probably a month b4 a friend gets home then it will b party time.  Found out that my dad is not as good as i dreamed he was :(  I didn't get to do anything for mothers day because my mom didn't have time.  She says we are not doing anything now since it is past mothers day, so oh well.  The start of my senior year is in the back of my mind but unless i really think about it it's not really important.  I'm sure once fall starts I will be an emotional wreck about where i will b an a year.  But i really don't have time to think about that right now.  THeres to much other stuff on my plate.

So here's to the rest of my life!!