12/13/11

Well another girl has came and gone.  She was pretty cool and pretty.  She had an awesome personality, but she wasn't mature enough for me.  She got me in alot of trouble, but unfortunately for circumstances, I think if the situation had been different, we would have just had a huge fight and still be together.  I miss her everyday.  I still see her when I'm at one specific place.  But I can't talk to her, and she can talk to me.  That has to be the most difficult part of this break-off there is.

A friend once said, if you love something set it free, if it comes back it's yours.

IDK if she will come back later down the road, but if we are both still like this minus her lying, i hope she does.

ONce I publish this, it's included in the past, not the present, nor the future.  I miss her like crazy, I wish I could yell at her and it could go back to the way it was.  Right now, that's not a good idea and It can't happen, so I have to make do with pretending to be happy.  This says it all:

It's easy going out on Friday night
Easy every time I see her out
I can smile, live it up
The way a single guy does
But what she, what she don't know
Is how hard it is to make it look so
Easy

I have to pretend this is true.  And hopefully eventually it will be or she will come back.  I wish I knew how she felt

Nov, 18th 2011

LIfe is going better.  Getting on my feet, and getting over the past.  I barely talk to my mom and see my dad about once or twice a week.  I work at a portrait studio that i'm about to quit due to circumstance, and I work at the gay bar in town.  Some things I've realized and want to remember are below:

1.  Right now all i want to have is a retail position.  that way i can save money and eventually move.  Also, that way i'm not alone all day like i am in my photographer position.

2.  I want to move east when the time is right.  Massachusettes seems like a good choice, or tennessee.  When I move is when my degree will come into play.  I want to find a job as a magazine editor/photographer/page layout designer.

3.  I don't know what I am, but to me and my friends I'm a tranny who likes trannies.  It works for us!!  I'm a gay boy who like female minded people.

This is the first time i've had goals.  I wanted to write them down so I can come back and read them later.  We'll see how much i've accomplished on my next entry.

Cheers to life

Forever

Haven't been on here forever and a day it seems.  I couldn't even remember my URL.  :(  Had to google myself.  Since october (that was a loooong time ago)  I've graduated with my associates in graphic design, and have gotten into the gay lifestyle as much as possible.  I'm a drag king, and am friends with most of the queens.  I've been doing it since february, so i'm getting better.  As for the past, I'm waiting to get a tattoo of a qoute about forgetting the past, and not letting it hinder me anymore.  I got mickey mouse on my arm in december, but it needs fixed.  Looking for a job right now, it's horrible.  This comes from out of the blue if you don't know me, but I can actually keep my sanity in this town now for as long as need be.  I'll get out as soon as i can, but right now, I've developed a life that is going to be hard to leave.  Especially one of my gay bois.  Well, I don't really know what else to say, so here's to my life!!