Feeling down

I thought I was on the right track until today.  The girl I've been talking to said I was acting like a little kid today.  A guy from H.S. wants to start a relationship soon.  And I wished all this would happen. but then I discovered what a vibrator can do for you and finally got back into the habit of saying hell with what people think.  So after getting back to my motto I got to the point where I am looking forward to dating girls right now.  And having some fun....  But the guy was my best friend in H.S. And we never acted on it then, so i feel bad if i pass it up again.